While visiting my family in the frozen tundra of Omaha, I endeavored a polar expedition to see the St. John’s Bible exhibit at Joslyn Art Museum. Have you seen or heard of the St. John’s Bible? If not, check it out here. Whatever is your religious/non-religious perspective, it’s easy to see the piece as a work of art. Viewing this mammoth, hand-crafted, hand-written, hand-drawn bible illuminated my senses and my imagination. The illustrated images of biblical scenes and words felt like a window view of the presence of God. Engaging with this beauty and creativity emphasized for me the incarnation of God in Christ.
And the Word of God became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14)
The Word of God’s love was first expressed through prophets and priests, kings and judges, through rules and songs and poems. That love was experienced as more than a thought or word when it was born in the physical, human life of Jesus. The earthly life of Jesus was a fixed moment in time as it offered a tangible expression of God’s love. That finite moment in time offers infinite power and purpose. Engaging with the life of Christ offers us a window view of the presence of God with us now. This is available to us because God manifested the Word into being.
Since visiting the exhibit a month ago, the word “illuminate” has popped into my thoughts randomly and repetitively. The word has been dancing around in my head like the windblown snowflakes I left behind in Nebraska. I’ve felt the pressure of the word on the tip of my tongue, feeling it’s relentless need to be spoken. I’ve mulled it over in my mind, wondering why this word wants me and why I find myself wanting it. What should I do with this word “illuminate”?
There’s a possibility I’ve looked like a weirdo as I’ve reflected on the word in various places and times. I’d stare off in space, contemplating “illuminate” and whispering it out loud at rather inappropriate times. You know, when walking the aisles of Target and Monoprix, waiting for take-out at Buffalo Wild Wings and while sitting for an afternoon coffee at a Parisian cafe. For those strangers who caught me in these awkward public moments, I’m telling myself they thought I was talking via Bluetooth about some Christmas decorations. Yep, that’s what I’m telling myself. And I almost believe it.
As the word grew stronger within me, I wanted to somehow manifest it. I jotted, scribbled, sketched and illustrated it. I played around with various ways of expressing it on paper, and my final exercise helped me the most. With some water colors, I swirled a variety of colors I was attracted to on a small piece of paper. Then I wrote the word “illuminate” in various styles and script on the paper, highlighting the words with metallic Sharpie markers. I doodled unpremeditated designs and scribbles around the paper. There was nothing planned about this project, it was all free flow. At times I felt silly and feared it would look ridiculous, but I stuck with it.
It’s certainly not a visual masterpiece, nor is it meant to be. It’s a tangible expression of a conversation my soul is having with God. It is like a window with a view of God’s presence interacting with me. As time goes on and I look at this window view, the significance and purpose of “illuminate” is elucidating me.
I’ve discovered three ways I desire illumination. First desire – I want more of God. God is light. To have more of God is to have more light. I’m charting a new course in my life right now as I pursue a dream that calls me out of my comfort zone. It’s an adventure I am experiencing in friendship with God. It’s by God’s light I step out in faith and see the bit path ahead of me. As God illuminates that path, the light does shine on my fears, casting shadows of doubts. My second desire – I will not run away from my fears and the shadows. The fears are scary and the doubts tempt me to quit the dream and abandon the adventure. Kathleen Norris wrote in her memoir, Dakota, “If we know what makes us afraid, we can see more clearly that the way out is through the fear.” My third desire – I will share illumination. That’s part of the beauty and responsibility of light…it’s meant to be shared. “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle” (James Keller). The more light is shared, the brighter the light becomes.
I find more purpose by choosing, contemplating and practicing a word than I do by pursuing a new year’s resolution. A new year’s resolution focuses me on an action, while choosing a word helps me find my insight and motivation with an action to follow. Seeking to manifest a select word in my life often has greater effect for me, as I find harmony and fluidity between my longing, motivation and action. This practice can be done anytime of year, and in any stage of life.
God has shown the world what it looks like when the Word was manifested in the life of Christ. God has shown me what it looks like when the words my soul craves are manifested into my own life. How is God inviting you to experience the word your soul is longing for to be manifested in your own life?
INVITATION FOR PRACTICE – Manifesting Your Word
- Consider a word that is stirring within your heart and mind. Do you feel yourself longing or craving something? Perhaps you want more peace, hope or courage in your life. Examples of words that have been important to me: trust, heal, process, overcome, faithful, refuge, courage, abide, love.
- Reflect on what your word means, both in definition and in relationship to you. How long has this word been important to you? What does this word feel like to you? Does it make you feel inspired, uncomfortable, strengthened, challenged, etc.? Why do you think you are drawn to this word?This reflection can be done immediately before the next stage or it can be done a bit in advance.There are many ways you can reflect on your word: sitting with it while having a quiet cup of coffee or tea, wrestle with it as you’re on a walk, talk about it with a friend, or journal about it.
- This is a valuable step to open yourself up in thought and emotion so you may experience a deeper understanding of why this word is important for you in this season of your life.
- Choose and prepare your medium. I’m particular to watercolors and pastels, but maybe paints, crayons, collages, markers, pens or pencils are your thing. Any medium is fine, just as long as YOU enjoy it. I’d recommend using a smallish piece of paper or canvas because you’ll want to have it in a convenient place to see regularly. Mine is 6″x9″.
- Establish your environment. For this type of creative exercise, I like somewhere private with a window and natural light, playing an instrumental album or playlist, and a candle lit to visually remind me of God’s presence with me.
- Take a few moments in silence to ponder your word and invite God to create this tangible expression of your word with you.
- Make a mark! Seriously, just make a mark. Maybe it’s creating background colors, doodling, cutting & pasting letters, or writing the word…just put something on the blank surfaceThis first step is often my most difficult step because I tend to overthink or have an unhelpful expectation of perfection.Even if I don’t like my first mark, I push myself to keep going. These cliches help me:Don’t miss the forest for the treesAll things can be made beautiful in their own time
- Continue making marks. Write/paint/glue the word multiple times on the paper and with different styles or formats. For example: write the word in all caps and then in all lower case letters, in cursive and then in block letters, try your own style of calligraphy and then write it with your less dominant hand, etc. In addition to the words, add doodles, images, sketchings, etc. Whatever comes to your mind and/or your hand, add it.Don’t overthink this process. The goal of this exercise is to express what’s happening within your own soul, not to create a visual masterpiece. Feel free to walk away from the piece and come back to it later. There’s no rush or prescribed time-frame for this exercise.
- Whatever its stage of creation, display this piece where it is visible to you at various points of your day. Place it on your nightstand or on your bathroom mirror, somewhere in the kitchen or next to your reading chair. Choose a place and space that you’ll feel safe interacting with, gazing at and pondering this creation.
- Reflect on some of these questions whenever you find yourself looking at it:What emotions do I feel as I look at the entire piece?Where is my eye most drawn?
- What captures my attention? How does it make me feel?
- Do I especially like the way one of the words looks? What do I like about it?
- Is there a word I don’t like the look of? Why is that?
- Does a doodle or image remind me of anything in my life?
- What is my description or definition of this word? Is it changing?
- How am I longing for this word in my life?
- What are the ways I can invite this word to be more present in my everyday life? Are there ways I can practice this word?
- When and how am I experiencing this word being active in my life?
- Celebrate the power and effect this word has on your life!Share your experience and insight with a friend, loved one, spiritual director. Share it with me, I’d love to hear about your experience!Display your word in a prominent way in your life: create or purchase a piece of art that exemplifies your word, find a bracelet or necklace that has the word on it, make a playlist of songs that remind you of your word, plan your own feast day (party!) to thank God for how you have experienced your word being manifested in your life.
- Give thanks regularly for your word.
You may find yourself quickly filled with insights from this experience. Congratulations! Or, if you’re like me, the process may take a bit longer and the insights may be slow as they evolve in your thoughts. They may be so slow that you may not even notice them at first! Give yourself and God time, patience and grace…you both deserve it. Whatever your process, honor the little thoughts, emotions, and images that come to your mind and heart as you reflect on your word. These can be invitations from God to enter into a deeper conversation of what your soul is longing for. Trust the process.