Here I am. Right here. Ici.

A few months ago, I moved to Paris. It has been a dream of mine for a very long time. A dream that burned in my heart, but in my head I could never figure out how it could possibly work out.

In all earnestness, I’m still not sure how it is going to work out. I’m taking French language classes, creating heartful friendships, and experiencing as much culture around the city and country as I can. What happens next…I don’t know. But I can’t shake the feeling, it’s in my bones, that there is no better place for me to be. Ici.

Since I finished walking the Camino, I’ve been laying low as I discern my next steps in life. Deep prayer and reflection with God and conversations with a few people have helped me find the courage to step out into this adventure. To write about it now is scary for me, as I don’t have a clear vision of what is next and I don’t know the perfect words to express this mystery in which I am living. Yet I feel my soul awakening more to the truth that God isn’t seeking my perfection but is seeking my presence. As it is for all of us, God is seeking to be with us just as we are and where we are…in our present moments.

So here I am, working to let go of this expectation that I need to have a perfect vision, a perfect plan, and perfect words to describe it. Shauna Niequest wrote a book titled Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living. I haven’t read it yet, but to borrow words from her title…

I am choosing to give my attention (and intention) to being present over my expectation of having some form of perfection.

Ici.