Restoration

There’s some great options out there to help us be in relatively positive moods these days. John Krasinski’s SGN show on YouTube. Brene Brown’s new podcast Unlocking Us. And I’m pretty sure history will prove this to be the golden age of GIFs and memes.

But at times, and maybe more often than not, we need something to go a little deeper into our hearts and minds and to reach into our souls.

In my last blog post, I mentioned there’s a spiritual formation exercise that’s been especially helpful for me this past week and I wanted to share it with you. This exercise uses the poetic imagery of Psalm 23 and in different ways on different days brings me some restoration.

Through the years, the imagery of Psalm 23 has been a place of refuge for my mind and spirit. I’ve often imagined myself resting in a green pasture, wandering along a lovely lake, walking through a time of danger but feeling comforted because God was with me, and recognizing how goodness and love are accompanying me in all things. But the imagery of sitting at a table with my enemies has always been complicated for me. I’ve never thought of myself as actually having enemies…well, except for the straps on bags. There are days I think all reusable grocery totes, purse straps, and backpack straps are in cahoots to steal my sanity as they twist and tangle themselves around my shoulders and arms. Also, I’ve never been quite sure what to make of a place being set at a table for me in front of those supposed enemies. Would that make a table being set for me in the accessory department at Target?

So yes, the imagery of the table with enemies has eluded me, until a couple of nights ago.

I was startled awake in the middle of the night by an unsettling dream. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare, but it made me feel anxious and fearful. For about an hour, my nerves and thoughts felt jittery and no amount of scrolling Instagram/Pinterest/Facebook brought me peace or helped me feel ready to fall back asleep. Then I remembered Psalm 23. So I turned off my screen, closed my eyes, recited the words of Psalm 23 a couple of times while picturing the green pastures, the still waters, the rod and staff. And then all of a sudden I saw myself sitting at the table.

There were shadowy, indistinguishable images sitting at the table before me. I knew these shadows were my enemies, and it was time to name them. They were the fears that awoke me at night in my sleep. They were the fears I try to ignore in my days. They were the enemies God was inviting me to acknowledge and to accept their presence. Within the company of these fears, these “enemies”, I experienced the presence of God covering me the way it feels to have my skin covered with a soothing oil. And the peace I felt overflowed from me like a Hydroflask being overfilled by an automatic water bottle filler at an airport. Then there was deep sleep.

That image of my fears sitting with me at my table in the presence of God has stirred in my thoughts these past few days. To gather with others at a table is an inclusive act for me. It represents a place of expressing peace and respect for the other’s existence. Perhaps the imagery of enemies at my table in Psalm 23 is an image of a transforming relationship. Maybe these enemies, my fears, are not to be annihilated but instead recognized and accepted with an intent on learning how to cohabitate together in safe and healthier ways. I’ll be spending some more time with Carl Jung, Richard Rohr, and Brene Brown to better practice living this way. Stay tuned for the probable sharing of that awkward process.

This dining table was my favorite spot inside the mediveval Mont-Saint-Michel Abbey in Lower Normandy, France

If you are interested in experiencing spiritual reflection through Psalm 23 the way I have, I’ve written out my practice below. It is a combination of what I’ve learned from Dallas Willard and other teachers, as well as what I’ve crafted myself. The exercise is not meant to be a one-time fix-it-all experience, but intended to be practiced throughout the entirety of one’s (my) life. Sometimes the exercise will provide insight and inspiration, other times there will just be comfort with familiar words and images, and there will be times when it seems like nothing happened. God is with us regardless of what our senses and thoughts experience. These types of exercises are ways we can continue to keep open the means of conversation with our Creator. There is no pressure or expectation to have a certain type of experience through this exercise.

If you would like to receive a PDF of this exercise, please message me and I’ll be happy to share it with you!

Spiritual Exercise – Restoration through Psalm 23

This particular exercise is an invitation for reflection and reception of how God provides for us in a spiritual, mental and emotional sense. While God does provide for us abundantly in a physical sense, this particular exercise is to focus more on our internal experience of God. This is not the only way to interact with the psalm, but is one particular way we can approach it and grow by it.

Prepare to read the poem by considering the imagery expressed in a spiritual sense and not as much in the physical world way. David used the different images in this poem to express what he was experiencing in a spiritual relationship with God. Let yourself relax and allow your mind to wonder about this imagery in a spiritual context.

Read the poem a few times. Read it at your normal reading pace. Read it aloud. Read it more slowly, letting your eyes and mind linger over some of the words or phrases.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside still waters;

He restores my soul.

He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil:

Your rod and your staff – they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love* shall follow me all the days of my life,

And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.

What is a word, image or line that stood out the most to you in this reading? It may be obvious to you, or you may have experienced a slightly higher interest or attentiveness to a phrase. When you have determined that word, image, phrase or line, spend a little time just holding it in your thoughts and ask God to meet you there. As you feel ready, go to the section below that covers your word, image, phrase or line.

Allow yourself to sit with the questions for your particular reflection. Resist the urge to push or rush through them to answer them. Hold them in thought with an open heart and mind for a while and observe what rises up within you. As you ponder these questions, be open and responsive to your own questions that rise in you. There will be greater meaning for you in the questions you find within yourself…the questions below are simply a springboard for conversation with God and yourself.

As you finish this time in reflection, close the time by saying Psalm 23 again. This time, though, pray it to God. Replace “The Lord” and “He” with the word “You”. I have made this version available to you at the end of this post.

The Lord is my shepherd

How is your spiritual relationship with God like that of a sheep and a shepherd?
- Are you experiencing God’s presence always within your thoughts?
- Within your thoughts as you are awake?
- Within your thoughts as you sleep?
- How are you experiencing God coexisting with you?
- Have you heard God’s voice in your life?
- Have you experienced God’s voice giving you guidance or comfort? How did you experience it?
  - What did it sound like? Was it more of a thought than an audible sound?
  - How did it make you feel?
  - Do you want to experience God’s voice in your life?
How are you experiencing God’s presence within your thoughts and emotions these days?
- Do you feel the presence of God with you?
- Relax in this image of being in the presence of your soul’s shepherd.
  - How does it feel? Any images or words coming to your mind?
  - Are there particular ways you desire to experience more of God’s presence in your thoughts and emotions?
- Do you feel lost, alone, or separated from God?
- Are you wanting to experience God’s presence with you for the first time?
- Do you remember the last time you experienced God’s presence?
  - Does there seem to be anything keeping you from experiencing God’s presence?
  - If you were able to see God right in front of you, what would you want to say?

I shall not want

(I read this line as meaning God will provide what is needed, like I will not be in want. With that being said, it’s important for me to know what it is I spiritually need/desire so I can be open to God providing it for me)

What does God provide spiritually for you that you know you can trust?
- Has God’s peace come to you at times when peace would not be a natural experience?
- Have you felt the joy of God bubble up within you for no apparent reason?
- Did you experience a hope that no matter what happens around you or within you, God’s love for you will be with you and give you strength?
What are the ways you need or desire God to provide for you?
- Is there anything your heart, your mind, your spirit needs right now?
- Do you long for more kindful thoughts towards yourself or to other people? Are you desiring to be more mindful?
- Do you wish you were not afraid of your fear?

He makes me lie down in green pastures

What are the open fields of green grass for your thoughts and feelings?
- Is it an invitation to stop and rest?
  - How do you experience that?
  - How might you be longing for it more?
- Does it feel like you have an abundance of food for thought?
  - Do you find your mind pleasantly occupied with intellectual, insightful, or inspiring thoughts?
- Do you feel like you are feasting on God’s love for you?
  - Are you craving to know God’s love personally for you?
  - Do you have moments when one or several of your senses are inundated with an expression of God’s love for you?
- Are you experiencing some new life within you?
  - Do you sense the presence of God’s Spirit growing within you?
As you are being still within a green pasture, is God using your captive attention to offer you an invitation? What may that invitation be?

He leads me beside still waters

How do you feel when you walk beside still waters?
- What do you see?
- What do you smell?
- How do those spaces make you feel?
- Are you experiencing similar feelings in your mind and heart?
- Is there something similar to that type of experience you find yourself craving right now?
Do you need this to be a time of being refreshed and insightful?
- If so, in what specific ways do you need to be refreshed and given insight?

He restores my soul

How has God been restoring your soul?
- Is it in the past or in the present?
How might you need God to be restoring your soul now?
Can you imagine what your soul looks like right now and what you long for it to look like through continued restoration?

He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake

What do the right paths look like in your thoughts, decision making, emotional responses?
How do you experience God leading you in this process?
Are there areas of your thoughts and emotions you want to experience God’s presence leading you more?
Why does this matter to God? How is it for God’s name’s sake?

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil

Have you experienced dark valleys in your thoughts or feelings? How do you know you are in a dark valley? What does it feel like?
- How does your body respond?
- Are there certain things you recognize that trigger your location in a dark valley? (ex: Having to let go of certain means of control? Being separated from a loved one? Feeling confined or limited? Uncertain of pending outcomes?)
What might you fear?
- Are you ok with the idea of experiencing fear?
- Can fear be helpful or useful?
- What effect does fear have on you personally?
- How do you determine what may be healthy fear and what is harmful fear?
Why is it possible that someone may not fear evil?
- Are there ways you overcome a fear of evil?
Do you have any fear of evil now?
- What is that fear(s)?
- Can you ask God to meet you and reside with you in that fear?

Your rod and your staff – they comfort me

(Traditionally, a shepherd would use a rod to fight off intruders…like a wolf/coyote, and use a staff to pull a sheep back into the herd when it was going in a dangerous direction)

Have you experienced God protecting you from harmful thoughts?
- How did you experience it?
- What did you feel like after it happened? (Did you feel peace, a sense of light or a renewed trust of God’s love for you?)
- Are there some thoughts that feel threatening to you now and you desire God to help you drive them away?
Have you experienced God pulling you back in from a path of thought that was not going to be helpful for you?
- How did you experience it?
- What did you feel like after it happened? (Did you feel peace, light, love?)
Do you think or feel you’ve been on a path(s) of thought that has not benefited your soul these present days?
- Can you call out to God and ask to be pulled back from those thoughts?
- What do you want to say?
- Do you think God is present with you and can hear you?
Why would the symbolism of God’s rod and staff bring comfort?
- Do you find comfort in the action of God using the rod and staff?
- Do you find comfort in knowing the rod and staff exist with God?
Are there any ways the image of the rod and staff frighten or discomfort you?
- If so, how?
- Can you share those thoughts with God?
- What do you feel comfortable saying to God about this?
- Can you imagine God gently and lovingly holding you while you share these feelings?

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies

What symbolism or special meaning does a table hold for you?
What feelings and thoughts come to you with the image of being personally invited to a table that is also prepared for you and hosted by God?
Can you relate to enemies being thoughts or feelings?
- What thoughts or feelings may you try to hide from?
- Any particular thoughts that haunt or frighten you?
  - Any anger or resentment residing within you?
  - Any sorrow that feels like it may overwhelm you?
  - Something else?
Why may God want to bring you and these thoughts/feelings to the table?
What could be the conversation at that table?

You anoint my head with oil

Have you experienced God’s presence with you in a tangible way?
Can you imagine God’s presence with you feeling like a healing oil poured on your skin?
Why is the image that of oil and not salve or water?
- What does oil on the skin feel like?
- What makes the experience of oil different?
- How can that imagery and sensation make a difference in your experience of God’s presence with you?

My cup overflows

In what ways has the Spirit of God ever overflowed in you?
- Have you experienced an overabundance of joy?
- Has there ever been an unexplainable amount of peace within you?
- Are you ever feeling overwhelmed with love for those around you? Or for God?
Using the cup as a metaphor for good thoughts and feelings, how is your cup right now?
- Is it overflowing? In what ways?
- Could it use a top-off?
- Or is it completely empty?
  - What do you desire it to be filled with?
    - Hope? Forgiveness? Patience? Love? Strength? Perseverance?
Do you find yourself with a cup that you do not want?
- Do you want God to take the cup away from you?
- Does the cup seem to be filled with something you don’t know if you can take?
  - Can you imagine sitting at the table with God, holding the cup between you two and you tell God what your cup is filled with?
  - Spend some time with this image in your mind.
  - Do you find yourself in a conversation with God?
  - How is God responding to you?

Surely goodness and love* shall follow me all the days of my life

(*I use the word love here although the NRSV uses mercy. Personally, I find love captures for me more of the sense of the original Hebrew word chesed)

What is it like to experience goodness and love in your thoughts?
- How does it feel?
- How does it affect you?
In what ways are you longing for more goodness and love in your thoughts?
Can you imagine there being a presence of goodness and love in your thoughts everyday?
How does the presence of goodness and love enter into your thoughts?
- What helps goodness and love to stay within your thoughts?
- What may distract your thoughts from love and goodness?
- How can you return to thoughts of goodness and love?
What do you imagine your life looks like when you live with more love and goodness in your thoughts?
How do you think your soul benefits from the presence of goodness and love in your daily thoughts?

And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long

What do you feel when you imagine dwelling with God every day?
Is it possible the house of God is more than a physical location?
Does there seem to be any connection with Jesus saying “The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can be observed; nor will they say ‘Look, here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ For, in fact, the kingdom of God is among you.” (Lk. 17:20-21)
Can you imagine your soul already residing in the house of God, or in the kingdom of God?
How may you reside in the house of God in spirit while also residing in this physical world by physical body? Is it possible to know goodness and enjoy love in both realities simultaneously? How may this be experienced in your life?

Psalm 23 (Prayer for end of exercise)

You are my shepherd, I shall not want.

You make me lie down in green pastures;

You lead me beside still waters;

You restore my soul.

You lead me in right paths for your name’s sake.